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The Smart Stepmom: Practical Steps to Help You Thrive, by Ron L. Deal Laura Petherbridge
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Review
"The best book available for stepfamilies that I've seen."
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From the Back Cover
You Can Be a Smart StepmomIn today's complicated stepfamily, the stepmom often doesn't know where to turn for help. Let stepfamily expert Ron Deal and experienced stepmom Laura Petherbridge show you how to survive and thrive as a stepmom, including: How to be a positive influence on children who are torn between loyalty to their biological mom and to you.What to do when you feel ostracized, rejected, or lonely.When and how to step back during conflict and let your husband take the lead.How to handle holidays, adult stepchildren, between-home communication, and much more.Here is the hope, encouragement, and practical information to assure you that you are not alone in the stepmom journey.
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Product details
Paperback: 272 pages
Publisher: Bethany House Publishers (October 1, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780764207020
ISBN-13: 978-0764207020
ASIN: 0764207024
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.6 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.0 out of 5 stars
131 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#80,239 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book did not help at ALL. It basically tells you that you aren't a stepmother until you're married and then even so you should just be a cheerleader on the sidelines and you are never going to be a mother or a motherly figure. Which is fine if you believe in that. I thought this book would help me deal with how to feel with basically being a stepchild's mother and not getting recognition for that.This book basically tells you that you should pray to God every time you get treated like garbage, and then just keep getting treated like garbage. And everything will be okay, and to apologize to the bio mom for making her feel you are a threat.THIS IS NOT WORTH BUYING!!! I read all the positive reviews, got the book and wish I read all the negative reviews. I am not a very religious person and even if I was... praying for somebody to stop treating you like garbage is not going to change your feelings or change what they do.
I've never believed in self-help books, but I found myself feeling alone in my position and was starting to get on my own nerves. I got frustrated with being frustrated, and found this book.I should have written a review for this book a long time ago. This book helped me with a lot of emotional turmoil and self-doubt, as well as humbled me. It helped me process the fact that I had entered an already once constructed family, which had fallen apart and was healing slowly in two separate broken pieces/homes. The kids are caught between these pieces and they spend every day juggling two different sets of rules and influences. I had entered the kids' house and had to find a way to parent them, while also respecting the life they already had and the life they lead separate from me. This book, and also observing my husband, helped me learn to put myself in the shoes of my kids, as well as the shoes of the ex/their mom. She is my ex wife and the mother of my kids also, even though I never chose her. She will probably always be a part of my life because she is important to the kids. This doesn't mean that we will be friends or that I will ever fully trust her, but I have attempted to create a relationship with her where we respect each other's time and space. And, yes, when it is necessary, we compare notes about the kids. The section about types of behavioral traits in moms helped me with forcing myself to see that she is a person, and that she was behaving in certain ways in an effort to control her own situation. This made me more willing to try to communicate with her constructively.This book has work book type sections, where you can think about situations. I took a lot of time, writing in the margins and highlighting sections that made me think about my behavior and my situation... and all of the moving parts, and their behavior and situation. This book didn't solve all of my problems- no book can. Healing and improving takes time, making mistakes, learning from your mistakes, a lot of love and work, and being willing to change your own perception of how you think things should be. This book helped me realize that I needed to change some of my perceptions. Being a parent is hard enough, but parenting kids that are influenced by two different households/worlds is a great challenge. It's constant compromise and finding balance. This book challenged and comforted me. I should probably read it again.
This book is exactly what I needed as a new stepmom. It does give some heartbreaking examples of some stepmom experiences the authors have been involved with but they give excellent concrete actions you can take to help meld your stepfamily together. This is a Christian based book but it's recommendations for stepfamilies is applicable to everyone in a step family. This book is great for both stepmom and their families and will help you with every aspect of being a stepmom.
Wow!! The author knows how to explain things to where you feel you are right there in her stories. With out giving to much away this book has helped me understand how my step son is feeling and how to get him to trust me and most importantly when to let his dad be in charge so I can continue to develop a healthy relationship with him. It has helped me get insight on how to deal with the ex-wife too, one of the most crucial parts when getting remarried. A must read for any Step mom who is or has entered into a blended family.
I’m in a relationship with a first-time father and his 2 year old son(who he has joint custody of). Baby mama hates my guts and has turned away any branch I’ve offered for peace. I’ve spent a lot of time feeling alone and confused and rejected- I don’t have kids, this is all so new to me. This book has already VASTLY IMPROVED my situation. It’s so nice to feel like others have been and are where I’m at. Being able to change feelings of negativity into positivity and hope is so refreshing. Thank you,authors! Totally recommend this book. Covers a vast variety of situations.
This book is very well written. I would give it at least 4 1/2 stars just for the fact that it alleviated my guilt about loving my step daughter differently than my own. Yes, it does seem to have a tendency to show a "worse case scenario", but all in all, it gives a very realistic portrayal of feelings, frustrations and logistics that come with being a step mom.I am very blessed with my situation. My husband and I are a team and he backs me up 100% when it comes to discipline. So, I feel that I was starting a little ahead of many of the stories I read in here.I would strongly suggest this book to any woman who is either a step mom or becoming a step mom. Some say it scared them a bit. I'm not sure that's a bad thing. There are a lot of sacrifices involved with being a step mom. But, as this book shows, there are abundant blessings as well.
The book has a lot of wisdom but it is very direct. Hard truths to read. I feel like a lot of women have been burned and heart broken so they want to make sure that you know what you're getting into. It's a really good book and I wasn't expecting a "feel good" read but it was painful at times. I wish it was written differently.
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